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my placemy thoughts on whatever September 14 who is who?There they stand, alone in a room. There is nothing specail about the room. There is no soft music playing, there is no fire burning, there is no breeze blowing, there is no smell of sweet flowers in the air.
There is an invasion of privacy, there is the stepping into another's space, there is a meeting of the minds with no regard to the surroundings. There is a purpose for the meeting for which has taken place, and assingment if you will. It is an experiment of who is who, which one will be the intimidator and which one will be the intimadatee (if you will).
So, there they stand, face to face and dangerously close. As they stand there with their right hand at their sides, they raise their left and softly bring that hand to the others lips, there can be no discussion and eye contact must be kept, both wetting their lips, allowing easier movement for the others fingers to caress causes a deep breath to be taken in. This motion is done in a very slow, meticulous manner, as if to notice every small ridge the lip holds. As the hand stays poised on the lips concentration is now turned to each of the other's eyes. They are to notice the color and the response of the touch that continues. Are they eyes big and blue and in the color of Asure, or are the green of a dew kissed meadow, better yet, are they a rich robust brown.
Watching and watching and feeling and watching the eyes begin to race one another, being careful to never loose eye contact, each serches the other frantically wondering.
As the experiment continues the are to recall the first touch of the other's hand to their lips and compare that touch to the way that same hand feels now. Have the fingers become more nimble and the become more modest or have the become hungry, are they searching? What are they looking for?
Alas the experiment comes to an end without the experience of a kiss of a physical nature, their mind had already created what they do not know. Their faces are blushed with anticipation and their hearts are pounding, consequently nothing happened, or did it. So, who was the intimidator and who was the intimidatee, you decide.
Sweet dreams.
Love Ren September 10 UMMMMMMMMMMMMWell, it is getting very late and there is much to do. However, before I get lost in my books once more, I must leave a thought or two.
As a bit of a hats off to a dear friend and they will know who they are when they read this, I hope it makes them chuckle and bring a smile to thier face.
With all the tension of getting my work done and knowing it well, I just could not resist to get lost for just a minute. The cool moist feel on the ....... in my hand, the firm, smooth touch of the ..... as I am carried away, the rich bold color I see goes without saying. My mouth longs for the very first taste, the taste of sheer decadence. Yes, it is sweet and pleasurable and my most favoirte thing to eat. Yeah, it is a but a piece of dark chocolate cake, with just the right amount of icing. It is sweet to my palate and moist in my mouth, there is a frenzy of "oh yeah" going on. So, it is late and I really must go so that I can finish my.......
Chow!!!!! ( and for those who wonder, yeah, I know chow is spelled wrong, but this is my space and that is how I like it!!!)
Love Ren May 11 the calm before the stormThe calm before the storm is a scary time. The unknown, holds all the power and control. The dead silence that fills the heart is staggering, yet, there is not fear, there is apprehensions. It is not knowing what is coming if anything at all, it is knowing that you can do nothing but seek shelter, stay and watch, go along for the ride, hide if you can, but either way, it still says, "I will come"!!!
In just a few days, the first of my children, Nick, will be graduating. While yes, I am very proud of him, just as the rest of the family is, I am heart broken. I have asked many people, men and women how they coped with graduation day and oddly enough, they all compared it to the calm before the storm. Yes, Nick is all excited, and I am excited for him, but at the same time, it is like the reality of life is laughing in your face, saying I told you you couldn't have him for forever. My little boy has become a man. Yes, I know, he will always be my little guy, just like his little brother and his little sisters, but I think you understand what I am trying to say.
I am the one who is not ready. I was not ready to graduate when I did and once again, here I am with my son this time and the mere thought of graduation is consuming me. I find myself very tearful most of the days. The emotional roller coaster is not fun at all. I asked my mom what to do and kindly giving me a hug, she said nothing. There is nothing to do. I just have to let him go. My goodness you guys, I am telling you, this is sucking big time. Yes it is a time of celebrations of great things for his life to come, but at the same time, it is a good bye to the little boy that once was and hello to the man who is to be. As a mommy, in this department, I am not doing so well. I will not let him know that, but this is the hardest thing I've had to do thus far and after the 27th, of May, I will have to do this 3 more times.
My mom always told me it was hard to say goodbye, and now I understand why. No it is not a goodbye as in never to see again. It is a goodbye of what once was, the innocence of childhood is forever replaced by the reality of the world.
As I sit here I am once again composing myself and coming back around, with a tear in my eye and smiles in my heart, I will be fine, but it sure knocks the wind of your sails when you have to let your children grow up and not be little anymore. It is hard letting go.
Well, gotta go guys.
Take care and have a good evening.
Chow!
Ren April 20 reality or notI must have read the paragraph 3 times and at no time of each reading could I tell you what information was contained within. I was far far away. As I sat there is class trying to pull myself into my studies, fighting to make myself pay attention, fighting with my emotions to just stop!!!!!! I couldn't. I was at a loss. I was losing the battle, I was defeated. As I gave into the desire, I found myself back in that same hot room. It was a beautiful summer day. There was a great breeze, it was high noon, there was a window open, a fan blowing, and the music of Sade playing in the background. We were alone!!! It was the middle of the day and everything was going right. I remember his touch being very deliberate yet very delicate. His kiss was demanding but with a succulent flair. His smell was very masculine and pleasing to my senses. Overwhelmed with emotion, I spoke not a word, yet always always, was looking into his eyes. They were deep and intense, green in color. His hair was soft and beginning to become damp with sweat. My sholder length hair was dampening at a rate unknown to me. I felt the sweat running down my body until he pulled my body to his. I felt his hands slip softly up my back where they stopped on my neck. Softly bending down to kiss me, he rested me against the wall, kissing every inch of my body. Unable to resist and not wanting to, I allowed him whatever pleasures he desired of me. As we pulled apart, I regained some of my composer and softly guided him to the bed. Oh the bed, yes, this was my domain and once again I was in control. I remember starting at his feet, licking and kissing everything that entered my path. It was not a path of destruction but a path of pleasure he would not soon forget and neither would I. The time passed feverishly quick, however, we did not care. As time went on without us, I felt his thrust in a willing position or two and shared yet a few of my own. The enjoyment of one another we shared sharing one another was intoxicating. The bed had grown boring and lust still remained the driving force. Silently, hand in hand, to the bathroom we went, to freshen up, of course! The water was ran to a slightly cool setting and we entered. Once again, there was no control. I felt his mouth on mine in a way like I had not known before. I had been seduced before, but not like this. I could feel his hands searching my body as a mirror, you see everywhere I touched him, he was touching me. The lather, the bare skin, the entrance, the emotion. I am wiped out! The day has ended and night has taken its place. There is a gleam in his eye, a flicker of the candle and a glow on my face. The wine in unbelievable and way to early to go to bed. There will be plenty of time to sleep later.
Sweet dreams.
 Chow!
Ren April 17 simplicity"I would sooner live in a cottage and wonder at everything than live in a castle and wonder at nothing."
Joan Winmill Brown
This was a little card that was attached to a little bag of goodies given to me by one of the ladies in a class I recently attended for work. I remember hearing her say that all the bags given out had a card attached to them with quotes on them, just as mine, that reminded her of who we were. As I read the card I asked her why this one reminded her of me, and with the sweetest smile on her face and grace in her voice, she said, "because you look for the beauty in everything and everyone you see and don't give thought to what they can offer you or even have for you. To me this was a compliment that was like none I had ever recieved. I was not only taken back I was humbled more than I will ever be able to put into words.
And yet, as I sit here and type, I wonder what she saw in me or what it was I said that brought her to the conclusion that she did. It was at this point that the first impression rule came to my mind. There is no chance to make a good first impression. I can only hope that in the future, I will always portray to others what she saw that day. I hate to make mistakes or to be wrong, however, the reality of life is that I do and I am. From here on out, while yes, I will remain to be just me, I will be ever mindful of my actions so that I make that good first impression as often as possible. I have a responsiblity to myself, to my friends, and most of all my family. For many years I have not worried what others thought of me or what I was doing, for to worry about them, to me, was a waste of time. Don't get me wrong, I am not going to start worrying about what they think, but I will always do my best to make those around me as comfortable as this individual was. I love for people to be happy and know that I am sincere in my love of life and people. There are so many things out there to be thankful for and I try really hard every day to make sure that I don't take things for granted that they will always be there. One day when we wake up, they may not be.
One that note, I need to go, I do apologize for rambling. It has been a crazy three weeks for me and I do apologize for not being here more. So sweet dreams to you all and a hug and kiss to say good night. xoxoxoxo
Love Ren April 06 introductionsIntroductions!!!! Blah! Blah! Blah! So what is an introduction? Well, according to some dictionary that I just happen to pick up it says that an introduction is To present a person face to face to another; to make acquainted; to bring into us or practice for the first time; to bring to attention of.
So, back to where I was. Why do we need them? Worse yet, why are there some that we wait for. Why, if they are not a big deal, do we wait for that introduction. Why is it so important to one that others know who you are by association of the company you keep. Is it because we look at the intro as acceptance from the other or are we feathering our own ego as if to say, yeah, I am with them, or is it our own insecurities that leave us wondering why or when we will be introduced? Yes, one could say, well, I guess it depends on the situation, or other may say, well, I don't think it is necessary, or other may say who cares. Why is the the introduction taken so loosly by some and very serious by others?
What is in an introduction? A common sense of well being, an understanding of that acceptance that was defined above, fulfillment of being someone you want your friends to know or is it just an attempt to quiet insecurities.
Well, it is for sure whatever drives the force of the introduction, there will always be something left to quander upon.
I am sorry for not being on in such a while. I am the one who says I never get sick and guess what, you guessed it. I have been without much of a voice and a cough that is relentless, and no sleep in sight. I am sorry for not stopping by sooner, I have missed you all. I hope this finds you all doing well and yes, I am much better. I can talk without coughing every other word now, and yes, it was that bad.
Take care gang! Sweet dreams to you all.
Chow!
Love Ren March 23 touching baseOkay, I must apologize for a couple of things. First, for not being so savoy when it comes to computers. I don't understand why I am not coming up because that is the way I added it. So, I will ernestly try once again to see where I have messed up okay. I am so sorry.
Now, let me shed a little understanding from my point of view on the art of love making and rush and you know the rest. In retrospect of my entry concerning fire, I know that you guys have a bit of a chore on your hands when it comes to love making. You can't help it, it is how you are made. Anantomically speaking, there are just some things that happen quicker for others i.e. being you guys vs. us girls. I wasn't meaning that I was beating any of you up, so if that is that way it was taken I do apologize. All I meant and was saying is there is quite a world out there to be explored by not hurring, that is all. And yes my dear Christopher, you are right, there is also something to be said about that hotter than hot, not so slow, have to have you now sex!!!!! Damn skippy there is. and now I am the one needing a drink hehehehe. All I am merely saying is that don't be in such a hurry to get to finished product. Take some time and put some time into the art of making love and think before you start about how a fire encapsulates what it desires and remember how it embrace every inch of its being, there is wise lesson to learned and it will suit both persons involved.
Maybe I should have said it this way the first time so not to look like I was pointing fingers. Sorry! Man or woman, love making is a two way street, in order to pass smoothly, there has to be a meeting of the minds where compromise is the understanding, and desire is the jury and satisfaction is the judge.
Love you guys.
Take care!
Chow!
Ren  March 20 for the recordokay, many times, I have made mention about how much I don't understand computers, and I don't. I have signed up to messenger for those of you who have asked me to do so for quite some time. Honestly I don't know how it all works, so just hang in there. my sign on name is rayealiece_2005, just like the space.
hope to see some of you soon.
Chow!
Ren Fire and makingBlack and sleek, long and glistening, the dark sea goes one into the night. The breeze is faint and the moon is low in the evening sky. Sitting there on the blanket accompanied by a fire, breathing in the fresh salty air.
Watching the fire dance with the enthusiasm of a new lover, upon the logs, there was a constant change of color and shape. Like when making love, there really are many phases one must go through to find the end of the means, if one does not go through these emotions, it is not making love it is merely having sex, big deal, anyone can do that. Just as the fire is beginning, the color is rich bold red and oranges and yellows, just as you can imagine your lovers hands eagerly searching every inch of your body. As the fire grows with intensity, so does the motion of your lover. The color has now become a vivid blue meaning that this is incredibly hot. Just as the fire becomes dangerously hot, so does making love, your bodies rush together embracing one another, thrusting, rubbing, touching, kissing, exuding absolute desire and want and most of all satisfaction. Just as the fire is consuming the logs, so does the lover consume his lover as well. The fire is not quick to burn, but lingering instead, as if to enjoy every small sliver to come its way. Love making is the same, it is not something to hurry, it is to be savored. It is to be long lasting, it is to be satisfying to the lover and lovee, it is to be most of all erotic and leave you wanting more. Like the fire that is burning, the fire is never out, it is only relocated. Love making needs to be where it can when it can, love making needs to be UNCONDITIONAL, love making is a fine art that needs to be created and re-worked until you get perfection, and sense this is not a perfect world, well, you guessed it, I am smiling from ear to ear. Nothing more needs to be said about that. March 15 insignificanceIn the significance of life we are merley walking through a kaliedoscope of emotions. I mean think about it, when you take a look at our very being it is relatively basic. However, it is only when you pull in an emotion from the depths of your soul that our understanding of life as we know it becomes complicated.
Let's take a look. The emotion of anger encapsulates a tremendous amount of energy by the force it harnesses, then you add yourself to the picture and now the force has a host. Energy is always in motion, thus equals anger. Now should the emotion of fear step in, well that is a whole new ball game. Fear is an advocate for nothing by itself, at best it is heart stopping and at its worst, it is death, pretty final. Love, is well love is a lot of different things, it requires directions, so you need to read them, it requires close attention from all angles, so you have to pay attention, it even requires many other things such as studing, understanding, patience, humility, forebearance, eagerness, willingness and much much more, then once again you add yourself to element and OH MY GOSH!!! now look, we are really scrambbling. Why, you would think that there was a bunch of rookies trying to be long time River Dancers and yep, you guessed it, they don't know what in the world they are doing. Sound familiar.
There are a ton of emotions out there and as we walk through life, we go through that forest until death finds us. No, we really don't have a choice. Oh we can make a choice to do this or do that, but those choices still have their own set of rules and yep, emotions, so you see, you can't escape, they will find you.
When you stop and think about the whole picture, we really don't bring much into the equation other than we bring the chaos and it is not even organized. We are our own worst enemy, however, not knowing any different, what are we to do, just deal with it ? Guess that is all there is to do.
Take care!
Chow!
Ren |
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